


2 girls, 1 safe

by orphan_account



Category: Sam & Cat (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2083074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is bored. Set during #SecretSafe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	2 girls, 1 safe

"I'm _bored_ ," Sam says, and oh god, she is. _So_ bored. She's going to _kill_ Dice when they finally get out of here. Kill him and chop him up into tiny little pieces and then feed those pieces to sharks. Or piranhas. Or tuna. Something, as long as it's a vicious meat-eating fish that will be more than happy to consume the remains of an evil, stupid, pouffy-haired twelve year old.

Sam leans back against the wall, fantasising about ever more creative ways to make Dice suffer. Pinkie finger up the nose? _Two_ pinkies up the nose, like one each nostril? _Oh yeah_ , she thinks. 

"I'm sure Goomer will be here soon," says Cat, but she doesn't exactly sound hopeful, and it's not like Sam can blame her. "He'll have chicken pucks, remember?" 

"Don't make me think about the chicken pucks!"

"I thought you loved chicken pucks." Cat looks confused. Cat is so often confused, Sam thinks, and sometimes it's endearing but right now it's just really, _really_ annoying.

"Of course I love chicken pucks!" she says, trying not to yell, and, she can admit, mostly failing, her voice echoing off the walls. "Which is why I don't want to think about chicken pucks, when I'm stuck in a tiny, tiny room with no access to chicken pucks."

"Oh." Cat nods, understanding. They both sit in silence for a while, until Cat finally says, "We could..." She makes a vague gesture, her face turning almost the same shade as her hair as she glances down at the floor.

And fortunately, Sam has spent enough time around Cat to know exactly what a non-descript hand wave and excessive blushing translates to, and it's 'fucking'. She always finds it weird, honestly, that someone as, well, _enthusiastic_ about sex as Cat can be so uptight about actually _talking_ about it, about even just saying the _word_.

Sam considers the idea but yeah, no. "I'm not really in the mood," she says.

"I thought you were always in the mood?"

"No, _you're_ always in the mood," Sam says. "Sometimes I'd just rather sleep. Or eat."

"It's a _form_ of eating." 

"But there's no actual _food_ involved," Sam points out. "Besides, I just watched you pee in a can."

Cat opens her mouth, shocked. "You said you weren't going to look!"

Sam shrugs. "Had to sneak a peek."

"And anyway," Cat goes on, "I just watched you _puke_ in a can. I just watched you puke into a can of my pee."

"Two girls, one can," Sam says, laughing, because however gross the thought is, it's still _funny_.

"What?" asks Cat, puzzled.

"You don't want to know." 

"No, I probably don't." Cat shakes her head. "What about _after_ we get out?"

"What?"

"We could..." Cat gestures again. "You know."

"I guess." Sam thinks. "But first I want the chicken pucks."

"Okay," says Cat. "Chicken pucks first."

"Chicken pucks first, causing grievous bodily harm to Dice second, then sloppy waffles third." Sam nods.

"And then what?" asks Cat.

Sam thinks some more. "Then I undo my pants and sit on the couch for a while."

"And then?"

"And then," says Sam, "I lick you till you scream."

"Ooh," Cat says, visibly shivering, her eyes wide and that might just be the hottest thing Sam's ever seen. 

"Sound like a plan?" Sam asks.

"A _good_ plan," says Cat, her voice a little hoarse.

__"Good," Sam says._ _

__Now they just have to get _out_ of here._ _


End file.
